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This year marks a full decade since the term “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For Zoomers, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who choose against parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits affirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately shut down any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {